A new private member's bill from the liberal party VVV would allow a child in the Netherlands to have up to four legal parents, spread across a maximum of two households. Currently, Dutch law recognises only two legal parents per child, creating legal complications for modern family structures that don't fit the traditional model.
The Problem with Current Law
Under existing Dutch family law, extra parents in modern family setups: such as a co-parenting donor, a stepparent in a blended family, or a partner's spouse in an LGBTQ+ household, often have no legal standing whatsoever. They cannot sign consent forms for medical treatment, enroll a child in school, make decisions about the child's education or healthcare, or travel abroad alone with the child, even if they are actively raising the child day to day.
This creates practical difficulties and emotional strain, leaving children and caregivers in legal limbo despite their real-world family relationships.
What the Proposal Would Change
VVD MP Ingrid Michon-Derkzen, who submitted the bill, says she was thinking particularly of LGBTQ+ families and multi-parent co-parenting arrangements. Examples of families who would benefit include:
Two women having a child together with a male friend who co-parents
Two men having a child with a female friend who co-parents
Blended families where, after divorce, a child is effectively raised by more than two adults
Situations where a stepparent takes on significant parenting responsibilities
In such families, more than two adults may see themselves (and be seen by the child) as parents. Supporters argue that the law should reflect that reality, ensuring all caregivers can legally act in the child's best interest in everyday situations.
How the System Would Work
The bill establishes several strict conditions:
Maximum four parents per child, living in no more than two households (for example, two households of two parents each)
Pre-pregnancy agreements: Intended parents must make formal agreements before pregnancy, covering care responsibilities, financial arrangements, and decision-making authority
Judicial approval required: A judge must approve the arrangement in advance, confirming it is clear, stable, and in the child's best interest
Not retroactive: The law would not automatically apply to existing families with more than two parents, though they could potentially benefit from follow-up legislation on parental authority and custody
This means families couldn't simply add legal parents after a child is born—the multi-parent structure would need to be established and approved before conception.
Support from LGBTQ+ Organizations
LGBTQ+ advocacy groups COC Nederland and Meer dan Gewenst have welcomed the proposal as a "crucial step forward" after years of debate. They argue the reform is in children's interests, ensuring all their parents are recognised by law rather than leaving some caregivers in legal limbo.
However, some groups have expressed concern that any "partial custody" arrangements might create a two-tier system of parenthood, leaving some parents with fewer rights and creating new legal uncertainties rather than resolving existing ones.
Long Road to Reform
The idea of legally recognising multi-parenthood (meerouderschap) has been discussed for nearly a decade:
2016: The State Commission on the Reassessment of Parenthood advised the government to create a legal framework for more than two parents and for shared parental authority in such families
Ongoing support: Bodies like the Child Protection Board and youth protection services have repeatedly stated that multi-parent recognition can be in the best interests of children, provided clear safeguards are in place
Political resistance: Despite this expert support, successive governments never brought a full bill to Parliament, partly due to opposition from Christian and conservative-right parties who favor traditional two-parent family structures
The VVD is now trying to break that deadlock with its own initiative bill originating from Parliament rather than from the Cabinet, potentially bypassing government reluctance.
The reform aims to reduce legal conflicts and emotional strain on children and parents by ensuring that the law matches the lived reality of modern families, particularly those in the LGBTQ+ community who have been advocating for these changes for years.
